Last year, I had the opportunity to enter a couple of contests that promised a lot of exposure and acclaim in my chosen field if I won. Each of them required a video entry, so for about a month my apartment looked more like a television studio than a place where someone would comfortably live.
Let’s get the obvious question out of the way – I didn’t win either of them.
I wasn’t surprised that I didn’t win the Oprah contest – there were over 15,000 contestants. But after watching many of the online submissions, I was convinced that I was submitting an idea that was far more tested, polished, and ready-to-produce than anyone else. I was, shall we say, perturbed that I had been overlooked.
Hay House was a much different thing – there were fewer than 50 entries and the judges had met all of us in person. I put my heart and soul into the submission, I was really nervous to share it, and I got very validating feedback from my colleagues who watched the video. But I wasn’t even one of the runners-up, and I was a bit heartbroken. It both helped and stung that one of my close friends did win.
There were a lot of positives in making those two videos – it helped me clarify what I really want to focus on professionally and I began finding new ways to talk about it. But there was also some real hurt in not being acknowledged for the work that I did.
Today it occurred to me – I have released so much emotional baggage in the last six months that I feel like a different person than when I made those videos. Just in the last two weeks it feels like my life has turned on in a new way – as if someone said, “Oh it’s 2011? Let’s flip the Leah Carey switch on!”
If I had been chosen for either of those opportunities before I released all this crap, chances are really good that I would have sabotaged myself or imploded because my whole belief system was WAY out of alignment with having that level of instant success. Of course there’s more stuff to release and more work to do – there always will be. But today I feel like I’m on firmer ground, more prepared for what comes my way, and I have a stronger support system than ever before. I don’t know what this year has in store for me, but I can say this…
Thank you God for not fulfilling my dreams before I was ready to have them. I sure never thought I’d be saying that was a miracle, but it definitely is!!!
For those who are interested, here are the two videos: