Warning…if you are male and don’t love talk of girlie stuff, now would be the time to click away. Perhaps you’d enjoy this. I’ll return to more gender-friendly fare tomorrow.
(On the other hand – if you want some insight into what your girlfriend or wife goes through, this might actually be informative…)
Is it just us girls? Okay…here’s the deal. For the last four days or so, I’ve been down in the dumps. I’ve written about it a couple of times, hoping that might alleviate some of the misery. Each day I’ve woken up feeling a bit better, and by the end of the day I’m irritated again. I’ve tried to pull myself up, but I’ve still been crabby.
Today I woke up feeling kind of funny – not just emotionally crabby, but physically crabby too. And then it hit me – I know this feeling. It doesn’t happen every month, but I know what this feeling precedes. This is PMS.
I have enough years of experience to recognize the symptoms for what they are…and yet it creeps up on me and surprises me every time! How is that possible?! Each time it happens, I sink into a hole thinking perhaps I’m depressed…perhaps there’s something wrong with me…what if the world never looks okay again? How can I fail to remember from month to month that this is my pattern?
Happily I can say that this doesn’t happen every month – perhaps that irregularity is part of why I don’t recognize it. It happens every few months but it’s not on a regular schedule, so I can’t map it out and say, “In May there are a few days when I shouldn’t schedule social engagements. Better take the 3rd week of September off the calendar as well.” No, I just go blithely along and suddenly I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. As a friend of mine says, “Could you back that up and try again? I don’t think the 18th wheel got me.”
However, when the realization comes of what I’m dealing with, it’s a little easier to live inside my own head. I might not feel better, but at least I know the face of the monster, and that makes it better. And it IS better than when I was a teenager. Then I used to throw hairbrushes. Of course, if my hair looked today like it did then, I’d probably still be throwing hairbrushes.
So here’s to the beauty of cycles – what has come before will come again. Each time the cycle turns and returns and hopefully each time I navigate it a little more gracefully. My prayer is that each time I will recognize it a little sooner and deal with it a little better. This month I’m just grateful to have remembered what this funk is about so that I can go about my day and not worry that the world is ending.