Have you ever had a time when you learned something new and all of a sudden it was all around you? For instance, maybe you’ve never heard of karaoke and someone explains it to you, and then all of a sudden you hear about ten places in your town that have karaoke nights.
That’s how the last couple of months have been for me around the issue of masculinity and femininity. It came up as something that required my attention just before the new year and – wow – it just isn’t going away!
Before I go any further, let me be clear that I’m not talking about male/female or man/woman. Those are about our physical bodies. Rather, I’m referring to the patterns, habits, and behaviors that are indicative of masculine and feminine energy. Everyone has a mixture of both (we all come from the combination of a mother and a father, after all); the question is whether we manifest them in a balance that is appropriate to our own goals and personalities.
At its root, masculine energy is about going out to hunt and provide for the family – it’s basically assertive. Feminine energy is about receiving the food that the men have gathered and using it to nurture the family – it’s basically receptive (not to be confused with passive – you can’t skin a buffalo and use every bit of its parts by being passive!)
A friend of mine put it to me this way recently – masculine energy has a vision and goes out to make it happen; feminine energy holds a vision and trusts that it will manifest around her. Ideally, I would find a balance between the two. However, I think I’ve been leaning too far to the masculine side for most of my life. In some ways that works – we live in a world where the predominant energy in the marketplace is very masculine, so being able to play in that playground can be necessary to build a thriving business. But when I come home, it’s time to let that go and focus on allowing my feminine side to come out and play.
I’ve been focusing on exercising my feminine side, but it doesn’t yet come naturally. Whether it’s accepting help carrying something heavy, or allowing a man to pick up the check on a date, my knee-jerk reaction is still to take care of myself and refuse help.
This lesson has been coming up over and over and over in many different ways over the past few months. If I had ever wanted to ignore it, I certainly can’t now because it keeps knocking on my door, requiring my attention.
Tonight I took a class where it knocked yet again. Quite loudly. And insistently. Thankfully tonight the knocking also came with some specific instructions and exercises so I’m not wandering in the desert of my own mind, wondering what to do next.
It’s kind of comforting to know that when the Universe wants to get my attention, it doesn’t stop just because I miss the first three or ten or fifty messages.
It reminds me of one of my favorite passages in the book “The Shack“:
“…let’s say that I know it will take you forty-seven situations and events before you will actually hear me — that is, before you will hear clearly enough to [believe me]. So when you don’t hear me the first time, I’m not frustrated or disappointed, I’m thrilled. Only forty-six more times to go. And that first time will be a building block to construct a bridge of healing that one day you will walk across.”
Thank you to Sandee Mac and the Center for Collaborative Energies for tonight’s class. It is always a miracle to be in Sandee’s presence and to have the opportunity to learn from her.