This morning I did something completely out of the ordinary – I stretched and then I meditated. Stretching is something that I need to do MUCH more of – I’m no longer at an age where I can abuse my physical body with hours of sitting and then expect it to stretch itself out without me participating. As for meditation…well, that’s a whole other story.
There was a brief period about six years ago when I got really into meditation and was really enjoying it. I’m not sure how long it lasted maybe 6 or 8 weeks. That period glows in my mind as a perfect little oasis of self-care. But something happened and I got scared and I’ve shied away from meditation ever since. Specifically, I started having some experiences that I didn’t know how to handle at the time – the beginnings of astral travel, psychic experiences, and the like. It was simply too scary, so I shut it down.
This morning, I committed to sitting down – just sitting down. And being quiet for a few minutes. That’s all. No time limit, no specific practice. Just sitting down and being quiet for a few minutes.
I’m not sure how long I sat with my eyes closed, but I think it was probably about 10 or 12 minutes – longer than I imagined I could do without getting antsy.
So today was day #1. In the past, I would immediately sabotage myself by thinking that it was day #1 of THE REST OF MY LIFE. That’s the quickest way for me to stop doing something – to think that I’ll never have another choice ever, ever again.
Today I’m choosing differently. Perhaps eventually the “out of the ordinariness” of it will become ordinary and I won’t have to think about it. But for now my goal is simple: to sit down again tomorrow. Just to sit and be quiet for a few minutes. I’ll just think of this as day #1 of this week.