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Aug 29

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Struggling with structure

For the last 20 months, I’ve been completely dedicated to this Journal. I occasionally missed a night, but I usually posted five times a week.  I did my best to always do it at 9:30 p.m.  It was a structure that worked for me.

Until, about six weeks ago, when it suddenly didn’t work at all anymore. Even before the big project at work took over my life, I was struggling to get inspired to write each night. And though I still managed to post most nights, some of my closest friends started to notice that I was just posting stuff.  I wasn’t really writing, I was just putting some words together and calling it good enough.

So I swung to the other end of the spectrum – for three weeks, I gave myself permission to not post at all.  And an amazing thing started to happen – I began to miss writing. I had words and ideas rolling around in my head, looking for a way out. I suppose one of the blessings of that time is that I was SO tired, I didn’t have the energy to give them the outlet, so the energy kept building inside me.

But something else was building inside me too – a rebellion against the structure of having to post at the same time every night, five nights a week.

So I’m going to experiment to see if I can find a middle ground that works for me. I’m giving myself permission to only post when I’m really inspired. I’m guessing that means I’ll post three to four times a week, but there may be weeks when it’s only two, and other weeks when it’s five or six. My hope is that in letting up on my own requirements and expectations, I’ll give myself the space to be inspired.

The other thing I’m going to try is posting whenever the spirit moves me – which may mean 9:30 at night, but it might also mean first thing in the morning, at lunch…or whenever.

I don’t know how this will work. Part of me is afraid that if I give myself the freedom to post whenever I want, I’ll lose my momentum. Part of me thinks that just knowing I have the option to post less often means that I’ll stay inspired and keep posting regularly. I really have no idea. But I like that I’m giving myself an opportunity to experiment – that I don’t have to have it right…and that I’m allowing myself to define what right is for me.

And for the record – those words and ideas are still tumbling around inside me. The past few weeks depleted my energy so far that my head isn’t clear enough yet to do them justice. But I’ll get there.  :-)

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Super-cool image found here.

About the author

Leah Carey

Leah Carey is the Chief Miracle Officer of The Miracle Journal, where she writes about the large and small miracles that happen in her life every day. She is a life coach, speaker, journalist, freelance writer, and lover of life. In all of those pursuits, she works with people to identify what’s already right in your life so you can build an even more joyful and fulfilling daily experience from that foundation. You can find her on Facebook, , Twitter, and YouTube.

Permanent link to this article: http://www.themiraclejournal.com/2012/08/29/struggling-with-structure/

2 comments

  1. Denise Wolf

    Leah – I love that you have recognized that things change and it’s okay when they do. Scary lots of times but okay.
    Whenever you publish I look forward to reading it and seeing where the next adventure and miracle will appear.

    1. Leah Carey

      Thanks Denise. I really appreciate your support! :-)

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