This afternoon I got an email that kinda blew my mind and once again had me reconsidering how I think about myself.
First, a little background…
For the last couple of years, I’ve been studying the process of becoming a teacher and leader in the personal development field. I’ve written before about the conflict I’ve felt between my self-reflective, somewhat introverted nature and the extroverted ideal that seems to be required for success in this field.
The message I’ve gotten numerous times from the Universe is that I just need to be myself and it will all work itself out. And yet I keep listening to the chatter amongst my colleagues and thinking that I’ll never reach their level of success without changing my personlity.
A couple of weeks ago I was featured on the front page of the website Inspire Me Today. Although it was a HUGE honor and I was very excited, I also was a complete stress case that day. I heard from the owners of the site were that they had additional opportunities for me, but only if I generated record-breaking traffic to their site. It’s the same message that publishers and organizers in the field give – we’ll book you if you can demonstrate that you’ll bring a significant audience with you.
I’ve been stewing over that for a few weeks now – why has the quantity of eyeballs delivered become so much more important than the quality of the message? Would I like to be talking to millions of people? Of course! But I’d far rather have 100 dedicated readers and students than have tens of thousands of followers who jump onto the latest trend for 15 minutes and then move on to the next thing. I’m much more interested in producing quality content than in throwing together a sensationalized headline.
This has been eating away at me, all triggered by the seemingly happy event of being featured on that website.
And then today, I opened my email to find this message from the Inspire Me Today people:
“Because we enjoyed your inspiration so much, we’re giving you a special benefit that less than 20% of our Luminaries receive – a feature in our column on Care2.com!
We will be sharing your inspiration with 20,000,000+ people around the world on 10/03, at 1:30pm Pacific! Your inspiration will not only be available on Care2.com, but will also be included in Care2′s Healthy Living newsletter emailed to Care2 members the day after your feature in our column.
Thanks for being such a bright light in this world. We’re so honored to have you as a part of the Inspire Me Today family!”
Well knock me over with a feather!
Once again the Universe steps in to show me that I’m not giving myself enough credit. Apparently the power of the message IS as important as the quantity of traffic.
Showing up as me is all that I can do. And it’s enough. Not only is it enough, it’s perfect – perfectly me in my most imperfect way.
Today’s miracle: A reminder that I don’t have to fit anyone else’s definition of success as long as I stay true to myself.
Image found here. Perhaps a “child’s guide to self-acceptance” is just what I need.