I had a big revelation last night. Huge!
I have the opportunity to submit a Miracle Journal book proposal to Hay House Publishing – the biggest name in personal development books – that will be reviewed by the CEO of the company. As a writer without an agent, that’s practically unheard of in the publishing world.
Now a book proposal is not a little thing. It’s a HUGE project.the skeleton of the book, plus telling the publisher everything they need to know about how I’ll market it, why I’m a good prospect, etc. It needs to be complete by mid-March. Of course, there are no guarantees, but it’s the first step on an important ladder.
When I first knew that I’d have this opportunity, I was ecstatic! But over the last month, I’ve started to talk myself out of it. I’ve found every excuse about why I’m not ready to do this. How I might embarrass myself. Why I’m not good enough.
Last night I got to be the client while the teacher in my coaching training did an example session, and I talked about this: with this giant opportunity in front of me, why the resistance?
We established that I need an accountability partner to help me stay on track. Julia asked me, “What do you need to hear from your accountability partner?”
When I couldn’t come up with an answer, Julia offered an option: “Do you need to hear, ‘I’ll love you even if you fail, but I also believe in you and know that you’ll succeed’?”
BAM!!!! That, ladies and gentlemen, hit the nail on the head.
That isn’t a message that I heard as a kid. (Well, to clarify, I did hear it from my mom, but I didn’t hear from my dad and he’s the one I needed to hear it from.)
When I was in junior high school, my parents were looking at other high school options because my local school wasn’t a good fit for me. When I brought home my first ever B+ on a report card, my father flew into a rage saying, “Why should we bother sending you to another school if you can’t even bring home A’s at this school?” Then he grounded me from television for several weeks – not so that I’d study harder, but as a punishment.
Failure wasn’t an option. I learned to not even try things if I there was a chance I wouldn’t succeed. And because I stopped trying to do anything “hard”, I began to believe that I couldn’t succeed at anything that required work.
Thankfully, I began to release that pattern when I began doing my inner work at Inner Visions Institute. But it still shows up sometimes, especially around high stakes stuff…like writing a book proposal for a major publisher.
Julia’s words were right on because she addressed both parts of the fear – first, that I’ll still be lovable even if my proposal isn’t perfect; and second, that it’s also okay to believe in my success.
Thank you, Julia. I am so grateful that you could hear inside my head when I couldn’t.
Today’s miracle: My lovability isn’t dependent on the success or failure of anything that I do. (Tweet this)
PS – My dear friend Michelle Phillips (a Hay House author and radio personality herself!) just re-posted one of my old blog articles, “The Miracle of A YUMMY Body”! You can visit her and read the post here.